In loving memory of
Emmy Elizabeth RodeDecember 12 to 17, 2010
As Emmy's parents, we wanted to share with you what her short life meant to us, especially since many of our friends and family never knew her. Emmy Elizabeth was named after both of our mothers’ mothers. We chose to name her after our grandmothers because they were and are two of the strongest women we’ve ever known. Emmy showed us in her short life how appropriate her given names were and exactly just what strength was.
From the moment Amy & I found out we were having twins; we were beside ourselves with happiness. We had been waiting for this moment a long time, so while we knew that we were in for a big challenge we welcomed it with our whole heart, and committed ourselves to loving these babies with everything we have. As the pregnancy progressed, we grew to know our babies and their personalities. Our daughter Emmy, was never still during a single ultrasound. Her position changed week to week and she made every scan difficult for the technicians. She would often appear to be waving and she was even seen kicking her brother in the head. We knew she would be a rascal, just like her mom.
Emmy’s life had a very difficult beginning; she was born without a heartbeat and wasn’t breathing. While we heard August’s little cries from the neighboring room, our daughter was fighting for her life from the minute she was born. Through the grace of god and the art of her doctors she survived these first few hours to shine light into our lives even if it was going to be only for a few days, as we had to find out later.
After their birth, we witnessed Emmy’s personality shining through the ordeal she had to face. She was never able to cry, but through her dignified, graceful & fighting presence she taught us so much. Emmy showed us true strength in her fight to stay here with her brother and us. She was a quiet teacher.
We found depths of hurt and strength in ourselves that we had never known and we watched the boundaries that are drawn between life and death blur until they ceased to exist or matter.
We discovered as a family how much we could do for each other in the face of a crisis and how much the love and support of friends mean at such a time.
We realized the miracle that is a healthy child and by meeting our children’s nurses and doctors we experienced the dedication and kindness of those who spend their lives caring for our children, whether unborn or well or sick.
We realized the miracle that is a healthy child and by meeting our children’s nurses and doctors we experienced the dedication and kindness of those who spend their lives caring for our children, whether unborn or well or sick.
We became aware that there is an essence, a life force beyond what we call "personality," that we came to know in our daughter, and while without words she used this force to communicate so much to us.
During the final days of Emmy’s fight she was most comfortable in the arms of her mom, the pain seemed to evaporate and breathing was just a little bit easier. When we learned the bitter truth of Emmy’s condition, we decided that this would be the way to say our goodbyes to her.
We were with Emmy as she slipped away, little by little: holding and rocking and comforting her, knowing this was the last service we could do for her in life.
In those first few moments after her life ended, an amazing change came over her face. We watched as all the pain and struggle faded and her features relaxed and became more and more lovely. It was a perfect beauty we had never seen before - she looked like what we imagine an angel should be.
We were seeing her original face, the face of her soul before it returned home. There was no ordeal, or sadness or fear, only love and peace. This is how we will always remember Emmy's face.
We no longer need to worry about Emmy, because we have seen her go to the most wonderful place, the most peaceful place. There were no miracles for Emmy while she was here, but god blessed us with a daughter for 5 days. We got to know her, love her and hold her and while it will never be enough and we will always imagine what could have been, being with us for this short time is the miracle she gave to all of us.
In closing I want to share a prayer with all of you that I heard the first time during Amy’s Grandmas memorial service and that has provided me the strength to go on in the last few weeks and to cope with the immense sense of loss I feel.
Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
